I never watch TV, so why have I started watching the shittin TV?! Bad move on all parts. If it’s not picking my ears and eyes out watching whack factor, its peeling off my skin, drooling, watching I'm- not- a-celebrity-until-I’m-on-I'm-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here. I'd rather watch the squirrels attempt to steal nuts from a bird feeder, although saying that there are some striking similarities. Painful and unrewarding. Please (G?)god if there is one, send me some good programmes, you can see I’ve recently freed up a lot of time. Maybe they should make a reality tv programme about (G?)god, "HVNLY; CRIBS, " "Check the bling on ma pearly gates!" No, I'm sure you're too busy doing all the things you do...


Well, I’m gonna go back to watching TV now, because I really need to watch ancient episodes of Frasier at 8:30 in the morning, clearly a warm up to the oh so delightful Jeremy (why don't you put something on the end of it!!!! ) Kyle Show.

Allow me to tell you about this window i fell through
a window that was made like the bottom of my glass.

As i sit and take an ample drag
On what is not such a humble fag
I think of those who like to boast and brag
Of things they have, or once had.

Even though i may lack many things,
That money and greed so quickly bring
I am still a Queen, I've got my King
I'll sound that note and let it ring.

I too am guilty of such sin
that when joy of self forms from with in
i shout it out , and let them know,
I planted seeds, and saw them grow.

Come to those who work for it most, ironic that peace should only be at the end of struggle.However we've all learnt by now that nothing in this life is free, ect ect. Anyway Im new here so be kind ! will post something better when my head doesn't hurt. Im usually quite creative.x

Nothing is really a doddle, nothing is really just a walk in the park, having said that though time really does heal all.. well not all but most. If you've suffered with your mind or your body or both then you will know what it means to try and heal. But time, sometimes refuses.

I started this journal because i know i am not alone in my struggle with myself. I do belive though that there are people out there who feel it worse than me and to them i send every bit of sympathy i have. If you have ever woke one morning and looked in the mirror but not even recognised your own face, or walked through familiar streets that are no longer familiar. If you have been breathing but not really living then i am with you here.

I have never been diagnosed, I would like to say it's because i have always believed in self healing, but in all honesty it's more because i am too afraid to realise the severity of the problems i have. And so a bit like an ostrich my head buries away.

This journal is not all about personal struggle, it's about accepting and over coming. But i am a hypocrite, as i am not cured of my demons, i am more free but i have not escaped. It sounds vague i know but who needs labels and diagnosis, it's all mental baby, all mental.